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snugglekittyThe Great Mattress Experiment: Tests in Cuddling and Fornication, by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lady_anemone, BA, and trouble4hire, AB
This experiment was designed after a new memory foam mattress pad was bought to make a mattress more comfortable. Our research was made possible in part due to a generous grant from the prestigious Pet Foundation, as well as the MA Sales Tax Holiday.
Hypothesis 1: There is a discernible difference between the mattress by itself and the mattress with the mattress pad.
Hypothesis 2: The mattress will be more comfortable to lie on with the mattress pad.
Hypothesis 3: As proposed by our esteemed colleaguejenaflynn, sex will be more difficult with a memory foam mattress pad.
Method:
To test hypothesis 2, experimenters will lie on mattress and rate for comfort on a ten-point scale. A rating of "one" will be equivalent to sleeping on the floor, a rating of "ten" will be equivalent to the comfiest bed ever. Then mattress pad will be inserted between experimenters and mattress for second comfort rating. Ratings will not be shared until close of experiment so as not to bias response.
To test hypothesis 3, experimenters will engage in fornication on mattress alone for not less than ten minutes in not less than 2 positions. Experience will be rated by each participant for enjoyment and difficulty. Then mattress pad will be inserted between experimenters and mattress. Similar positions will be used to make results more comparable.
If ratings differ signficantly in either part of the experiment, the primary hypothesis will be proven.
Part One: Cuddling
Without Mattress Pad With Mattress Pad
Experimenter One Rating 6 8
Experimenter Two Rating 6 8
Part Two: Fornication
Without Mattress Pad With Mattress Pad
Experimenter One -
Sex Enjoyment Rating 8 9
Sex Difficulty Rating 2 2
Experimenter Two -
Sex Enjoyment Rating 7 8.5
Sex Difficulty Rating 4 5
Number of Orgasms 7 9
Although no animals were harmed in the course of this experiment, a felis catus interrupted the proceedings. Although Her Royal Highness Suzuki did not deign to share a numerical comfort rating with the experimenters, she did headbutt Experimenter 2 three times in the hip before settling down to sleep on the mattress pad, which could be construed as a sign of approval for its presence.
Conclusions: Hypotheses 1 and 2 are proved. Results of hypothesis 3 are inconclusive. Experimenter 1 noted no difference in difficulty of sex. Experimenter 2 determined it was slightly harder to wiggle her hips on the mattress pad. However, the difference in ratings is not statistically significant. Hypothesis 3 has not been proved.
Further experimentation could include testing the mattress with the mattress pad initially and the mattress without the mattress pad subsequently, in case warming up was a factor. Better values should also be assigned to the ratings in the latter phase of the experiment, as this could account for experiential inconsistencies.
Appendix I - Materials List.
1 queen-sized mattress from Mattress Discounters (cheap!)
1 queen-sized memory foam mattress pad (on sale at Macy's)
1 set queen-sized sheets
2 pillows
1 clipboard (purple)
1 mechanical pencil
1 legal pad
2 experimenters
2 small pieces of paper
Appendix II - List of Positions.
Receptive partner on back, active partner lying beside.
Receptive partner on back, active partner kneeling between her legs.
Receptive partner on edge of bed, active partner bent over bed.
Receptive partner curled on side, active partner wrapped around her from behind.
This paper is publicly released for peer review as of August 20th, 2008. Your comments are appreciated.
lady_anemone, BA, and trouble4hire, ABThis experiment was designed after a new memory foam mattress pad was bought to make a mattress more comfortable. Our research was made possible in part due to a generous grant from the prestigious Pet Foundation, as well as the MA Sales Tax Holiday.
Hypothesis 1: There is a discernible difference between the mattress by itself and the mattress with the mattress pad.
Hypothesis 2: The mattress will be more comfortable to lie on with the mattress pad.
Hypothesis 3: As proposed by our esteemed colleague
jenaflynn, sex will be more difficult with a memory foam mattress pad.Method:
To test hypothesis 2, experimenters will lie on mattress and rate for comfort on a ten-point scale. A rating of "one" will be equivalent to sleeping on the floor, a rating of "ten" will be equivalent to the comfiest bed ever. Then mattress pad will be inserted between experimenters and mattress for second comfort rating. Ratings will not be shared until close of experiment so as not to bias response.
To test hypothesis 3, experimenters will engage in fornication on mattress alone for not less than ten minutes in not less than 2 positions. Experience will be rated by each participant for enjoyment and difficulty. Then mattress pad will be inserted between experimenters and mattress. Similar positions will be used to make results more comparable.
If ratings differ signficantly in either part of the experiment, the primary hypothesis will be proven.
Part One: Cuddling
Without Mattress Pad With Mattress Pad
Experimenter One Rating 6 8
Experimenter Two Rating 6 8
Part Two: Fornication
Without Mattress Pad With Mattress Pad
Experimenter One -
Sex Enjoyment Rating 8 9
Sex Difficulty Rating 2 2
Experimenter Two -
Sex Enjoyment Rating 7 8.5
Sex Difficulty Rating 4 5
Number of Orgasms 7 9
Although no animals were harmed in the course of this experiment, a felis catus interrupted the proceedings. Although Her Royal Highness Suzuki did not deign to share a numerical comfort rating with the experimenters, she did headbutt Experimenter 2 three times in the hip before settling down to sleep on the mattress pad, which could be construed as a sign of approval for its presence.
Conclusions: Hypotheses 1 and 2 are proved. Results of hypothesis 3 are inconclusive. Experimenter 1 noted no difference in difficulty of sex. Experimenter 2 determined it was slightly harder to wiggle her hips on the mattress pad. However, the difference in ratings is not statistically significant. Hypothesis 3 has not been proved.
Further experimentation could include testing the mattress with the mattress pad initially and the mattress without the mattress pad subsequently, in case warming up was a factor. Better values should also be assigned to the ratings in the latter phase of the experiment, as this could account for experiential inconsistencies.
Appendix I - Materials List.
1 queen-sized mattress from Mattress Discounters (cheap!)
1 queen-sized memory foam mattress pad (on sale at Macy's)
1 set queen-sized sheets
2 pillows
1 clipboard (purple)
1 mechanical pencil
1 legal pad
2 experimenters
2 small pieces of paper
Appendix II - List of Positions.
Receptive partner on back, active partner lying beside.
Receptive partner on back, active partner kneeling between her legs.
Receptive partner on edge of bed, active partner bent over bed.
Receptive partner curled on side, active partner wrapped around her from behind.
This paper is publicly released for peer review as of August 20th, 2008. Your comments are appreciated.