![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snugglekitty1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
It was a process, and it's still a process. I always wanted to be poly, as soon as I understood the possibility existed, even though I didn't have the vocabulary. However, I didn't exactly learn good communication from my parents, and that is so crucial to poly. Ditto taking responsibility for your own needs and negotiating compromises. I had to learn all of the that from experience.
It doesn't always feel easy to me. Although I think I'm a very successful poly person (in more ways than just having a steady stream of interesting playmates), sometimes things still happen in my relationships that makes me go, "Whoa! Where did that come from? Okay, back to the processing table!".
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
My opinion on my first day was, "Paradise! This is paradise!"
My opinion when I left was that it was a lovely place to live. But that was tempered by knowing that there were no jobs in the area, basically, and a feeling that I was kind of outgrowing it. I needed new challenges.
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
Yes, I was once heavily involved in that scene. I dressed goth all the time, was on mailing lists, went clubbing weekly, etc. All my friends and sweeties were goth. But it's true. I'm not a "club kid" anymore.
The shift was caused mostly by my moving to Boston. That happened five years and two months ago. The transition from Haven to ManRay was a harsh one. ManRay never felt like home to me the way that Haven had. It was so much more pretentious, and people didn't respect my personal space, and it was just so BIG. I tried going to other places in the area but none of them won my heart in that way. Around the same time, I started getting invited to sex parties, and thought that that was way better than clubbing, at least than the clubbing I was doing then. I love dancing and sex about the same, but sex parties are mostly free of alcohol and tobacco, and I liked that. And I liked that people respected my personal space more. And with a closed guest list, the people were of a much more uniform quality, too... And then eventually I dropped off the PVgoth list. Now I date people who don't even wear black most of the time, and I even own some brown pants. Imagine!
What I had in the scene in my early twenties was a sense of community or family, and a place where I felt safe dancing. Now I have the first in different ways, mostly through identity based communities. I've had a harder time finding good places to dance. I got tired of getting stepped on, getting drinks spilled on me, people trying to grind with me... all that stuff. Right now I like Sweat Your Prayers in Cambridge and occaisional pagan/ambient type events, but I'm not doing it as much as I wish I was. Someone have a party with dancing!
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
The best meal I ever had was made for me by my first woman lover, right after my second woman lover broke up with me. Her name was Tanya. She made it in her apartment at Hampshire college. First, we had artichoke leaves with lemon and butter. She stuffed the artichoke hearts and baked them. There was kale - first time I ever had kale. Rice and lentils. Then a big fish main course. I don't remember what kind of fish. But it was the first time someone had ever cooked a gourmet meal for me before, and it was awesome. Also, it was made with love. Then we snuggled up for the night.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
*smile* Apparently not. Did someone tell you about my Halloween costume?
If you want to be interviewed, post here! If you want to interview me, leave questions in the comments.
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
It was a process, and it's still a process. I always wanted to be poly, as soon as I understood the possibility existed, even though I didn't have the vocabulary. However, I didn't exactly learn good communication from my parents, and that is so crucial to poly. Ditto taking responsibility for your own needs and negotiating compromises. I had to learn all of the that from experience.
It doesn't always feel easy to me. Although I think I'm a very successful poly person (in more ways than just having a steady stream of interesting playmates), sometimes things still happen in my relationships that makes me go, "Whoa! Where did that come from? Okay, back to the processing table!".
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
My opinion on my first day was, "Paradise! This is paradise!"
My opinion when I left was that it was a lovely place to live. But that was tempered by knowing that there were no jobs in the area, basically, and a feeling that I was kind of outgrowing it. I needed new challenges.
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
Yes, I was once heavily involved in that scene. I dressed goth all the time, was on mailing lists, went clubbing weekly, etc. All my friends and sweeties were goth. But it's true. I'm not a "club kid" anymore.
The shift was caused mostly by my moving to Boston. That happened five years and two months ago. The transition from Haven to ManRay was a harsh one. ManRay never felt like home to me the way that Haven had. It was so much more pretentious, and people didn't respect my personal space, and it was just so BIG. I tried going to other places in the area but none of them won my heart in that way. Around the same time, I started getting invited to sex parties, and thought that that was way better than clubbing, at least than the clubbing I was doing then. I love dancing and sex about the same, but sex parties are mostly free of alcohol and tobacco, and I liked that. And I liked that people respected my personal space more. And with a closed guest list, the people were of a much more uniform quality, too... And then eventually I dropped off the PVgoth list. Now I date people who don't even wear black most of the time, and I even own some brown pants. Imagine!
What I had in the scene in my early twenties was a sense of community or family, and a place where I felt safe dancing. Now I have the first in different ways, mostly through identity based communities. I've had a harder time finding good places to dance. I got tired of getting stepped on, getting drinks spilled on me, people trying to grind with me... all that stuff. Right now I like Sweat Your Prayers in Cambridge and occaisional pagan/ambient type events, but I'm not doing it as much as I wish I was. Someone have a party with dancing!
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
The best meal I ever had was made for me by my first woman lover, right after my second woman lover broke up with me. Her name was Tanya. She made it in her apartment at Hampshire college. First, we had artichoke leaves with lemon and butter. She stuffed the artichoke hearts and baked them. There was kale - first time I ever had kale. Rice and lentils. Then a big fish main course. I don't remember what kind of fish. But it was the first time someone had ever cooked a gourmet meal for me before, and it was awesome. Also, it was made with love. Then we snuggled up for the night.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
*smile* Apparently not. Did someone tell you about my Halloween costume?
If you want to be interviewed, post here! If you want to interview me, leave questions in the comments.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 01:01 pm (UTC)1) Do you feel that the way you do relationships has changed in the past ten years? If so, how? What have you learned?
2) Where would you like to live when you retire? What do you imagine yourself doing?
3) Tell me about the mural in your house. The one with the fish. How did that come to be? What does it mean to you?
4) Name a book or three that changed your life.
5) What element do you most identify with, out of earth, air, fire, and water? Why?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 01:35 pm (UTC)2) When we were in college, you considered yourself to be straight, monogamous, and not a pagan. It seems like many of those categories have changed for you. Would you talk about what has changed? How do you see yourself now?
3) I've always wondered what was going on with you the weekend that J. and I were going to stay with you in NYC and we never quite connected. What happened?
4) If you lived somewhere other than NYC, where would you live? Can you imagine living in Massachusetts again?
5) You write about your job a lot on LJ. Do you think that you have a good balance between work, play, and rest these days? What do you do to nurture yourself?
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 05:29 pm (UTC)(1) You prefences in sweeties seems to have changed a lot since I met you. What changes do you think occurred in you that led you to seek different preferences in sweeties?
(2) How do you determine, when you get to know someone, whether this person is going to be a sweetie or a friend?
(3) If, hypothetically, you started a new 9-5 job in a fairly conservative environment and they met Jim or knew of him so assumed that you were married and therefore straight, how would you correct them? What do you think would be appropriate to say?
(4) You have dramatically changed your diet in the past few years. Is it working, what do you notice has changed?
(5) You talk about your girly parts in a frank, open way I admire. A question I have always wondered, what is the difference, in symptoms, between a yeast infection and a bacterial infection? (perhaps this question should go under a separate heading, if you would like)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 06:15 pm (UTC)Anyway, I'll be happy to interview you, I just don't want to ask you the same stuff I did last time. If I didn't completely make up last time out of my head.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 05:33 pm (UTC)(If you'd like, feel free to think up five questions for me. But only if you'd like.)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 01:44 pm (UTC)I would love to ask you five questions.
1) I have far too little experience with people who have chosen monogamy as a lifestyle, rather than those who do just because it's what everyone else is doing. Why did you choose to be monogamous? What do you feel are some of the good things about that choice in your life?
2) Tell me about a turning point in your life.
3) What's your favorite time of year, and why?
4) You can give a dinner party with five people of your choosing, living or dead, known to you personally or not. Who would be there? What would you serve them?
5) You moved here from Arizona relatively recently. What do you miss about living in that part of the country?
I second that
Date: 2005-10-22 09:11 pm (UTC)I'd love to be interviewed... I can't think of anything in particular to ask, but I may. Let me think on it.
Re: I second that
Date: 2005-10-24 07:01 pm (UTC)2) What in your life do you feel gives you a sense of continuity?
3) Like me, you seem to have a lot of fairly intense relationships that tend to be somewhat short-term. What is one good thing and one bad thing about that? Or is this a misperception on my part?
4) Where would you like to be five years from now? How about ten?
5) Do you feel past experiences make you who you are, or do you feel you have had to overcome them to find yourself?
answers-
Date: 2005-10-25 04:41 am (UTC)1. "Honey is a loving, caring, and sexy Mistress. I fully enjoyed my time in her service, and felt cared for and at peace in her presence. She gives clear directions, and is available for discussion if you feel troubled. You should be able to recieve directions and follow through on your own, and be self-motivated enough to anticipate her, ad to be able to tidy up without being asked. She is a very easy-going, firm, and sweet Mistress, and one I still speak glowingly of.
The biggest thing I can emphasize is the calm I felt in her presence- I always left her home feeling clear headed and insightful. My service to her often felt like active, guided meditation. While my position with her did not take the angle of being very sexual or masochistic, she is perceptive and trustworthy, and I believe she would be mindblowing in either capacity. However, it is important, in my opinon, to want to serve her out of a love for serving- if that is your intent, Honey is a good match for you."
How is that? :)
2. Currently, school gives me continuity- it's always there, there is always more to learn, and there's always a step further I can delve into it. It's hard, not a lot gives me that continuity... submission did, but as my Dom has been going through a rough spot, that's not available. School is great. Actually, Alicia, of whom I speak infrequently, gives me some continuity- I see her every Thursday, and we have a great time together. Often she gives me perspctive on my life, since we're in similar places, which I like a lot. And my quest to understand my personal spirituality, and my path in life... that always gives me the continuity I seek, if I wish it.
3. Very intense relationships indeed! :) One good thing is the intensity itself- it's exciting, and, well, intense- it grabs me, forcefully, and shakes me out of my comfort zone. And it's fun! The bad thing would be the short-live-ed-ness of it... sometimes, I wish it'd be less intense and stay longer... and intense relationships can come out of intense people, which tends to mean lots of drama. The stress can be a lot.
4. 5 years from now, I'd like to be graduating from school, and maybe looking into a Master's in Human Sexuality. I'd like to be well-known for the Whippersnappers parties I throw, have a website for it and maybe even be a real organization. :D I'd like to be more involved in the poly community, and have helped set up a theme camp for Burning Man. I'd like to be happily living with a lover (=), and have a close-knit community of snuggle buddies around me. I'd like to have spoken to my mother in person, and told her I fully understand what's happened to her, and I don't hold hatred for her anymore.
10 years from now, I'd like to have written a book, or at least a chapbook of my poetry. I'd like my sacred sexuality temple to be underway, getting drafted, ideas being tossed about, whatever- I'd want it to be started into more than a daydream. I'd also like to have created a sex-positive sex club in San Francisco, where the unionized Lusty Ladies can work and earn profit, instead of pennies. I'd like to have a nice apartment, happiness and stability with my lovers, and have gotten my Master's. I'd like to have driven across the US, and been to at least 5 countries new to me.
5. A little of both. I think who I am, really, is who I am now- except maybe it could use more refining and knowledge. :) I think it was in me all along- the sexuality, the spirituality, the empathy, the activism... but I think that without the experiences, I would have watched tv and gone all soft. My teenage years taught me to experience and learn from pain, and that suffering can be a lesson- most people I know are still trying to escape, and I think that they're behind for that reason. So, both- I was interested to begin with, and my life made me determined.
Thanks! Can I post these in my LJ?
Re: answers-
Date: 2005-10-25 06:17 pm (UTC)Of course! Glad you liked.