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snugglekitty1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
It was a process, and it's still a process. I always wanted to be poly, as soon as I understood the possibility existed, even though I didn't have the vocabulary. However, I didn't exactly learn good communication from my parents, and that is so crucial to poly. Ditto taking responsibility for your own needs and negotiating compromises. I had to learn all of the that from experience.
It doesn't always feel easy to me. Although I think I'm a very successful poly person (in more ways than just having a steady stream of interesting playmates), sometimes things still happen in my relationships that makes me go, "Whoa! Where did that come from? Okay, back to the processing table!".
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
My opinion on my first day was, "Paradise! This is paradise!"
My opinion when I left was that it was a lovely place to live. But that was tempered by knowing that there were no jobs in the area, basically, and a feeling that I was kind of outgrowing it. I needed new challenges.
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
Yes, I was once heavily involved in that scene. I dressed goth all the time, was on mailing lists, went clubbing weekly, etc. All my friends and sweeties were goth. But it's true. I'm not a "club kid" anymore.
The shift was caused mostly by my moving to Boston. That happened five years and two months ago. The transition from Haven to ManRay was a harsh one. ManRay never felt like home to me the way that Haven had. It was so much more pretentious, and people didn't respect my personal space, and it was just so BIG. I tried going to other places in the area but none of them won my heart in that way. Around the same time, I started getting invited to sex parties, and thought that that was way better than clubbing, at least than the clubbing I was doing then. I love dancing and sex about the same, but sex parties are mostly free of alcohol and tobacco, and I liked that. And I liked that people respected my personal space more. And with a closed guest list, the people were of a much more uniform quality, too... And then eventually I dropped off the PVgoth list. Now I date people who don't even wear black most of the time, and I even own some brown pants. Imagine!
What I had in the scene in my early twenties was a sense of community or family, and a place where I felt safe dancing. Now I have the first in different ways, mostly through identity based communities. I've had a harder time finding good places to dance. I got tired of getting stepped on, getting drinks spilled on me, people trying to grind with me... all that stuff. Right now I like Sweat Your Prayers in Cambridge and occaisional pagan/ambient type events, but I'm not doing it as much as I wish I was. Someone have a party with dancing!
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
The best meal I ever had was made for me by my first woman lover, right after my second woman lover broke up with me. Her name was Tanya. She made it in her apartment at Hampshire college. First, we had artichoke leaves with lemon and butter. She stuffed the artichoke hearts and baked them. There was kale - first time I ever had kale. Rice and lentils. Then a big fish main course. I don't remember what kind of fish. But it was the first time someone had ever cooked a gourmet meal for me before, and it was awesome. Also, it was made with love. Then we snuggled up for the night.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
*smile* Apparently not. Did someone tell you about my Halloween costume?
If you want to be interviewed, post here! If you want to interview me, leave questions in the comments.
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
1. I've always admired the easy way you seem to handle poly. Was it a process, getting to this state, or did you just naturally fall into it?
It was a process, and it's still a process. I always wanted to be poly, as soon as I understood the possibility existed, even though I didn't have the vocabulary. However, I didn't exactly learn good communication from my parents, and that is so crucial to poly. Ditto taking responsibility for your own needs and negotiating compromises. I had to learn all of the that from experience.
It doesn't always feel easy to me. Although I think I'm a very successful poly person (in more ways than just having a steady stream of interesting playmates), sometimes things still happen in my relationships that makes me go, "Whoa! Where did that come from? Okay, back to the processing table!".
2. What was your opinion of the Happy Valley on your first day at Smith, and how had it changed by the time you left?
My opinion on my first day was, "Paradise! This is paradise!"
My opinion when I left was that it was a lovely place to live. But that was tempered by knowing that there were no jobs in the area, basically, and a feeling that I was kind of outgrowing it. I needed new challenges.
3. IIRC, you were once fairly heavily involved in the goth scene. While you've still got a lot of connections, you're not exactly a "club kid". What caused you to lose interest? Was there something you were looking for that you found elsewhere?
Yes, I was once heavily involved in that scene. I dressed goth all the time, was on mailing lists, went clubbing weekly, etc. All my friends and sweeties were goth. But it's true. I'm not a "club kid" anymore.
The shift was caused mostly by my moving to Boston. That happened five years and two months ago. The transition from Haven to ManRay was a harsh one. ManRay never felt like home to me the way that Haven had. It was so much more pretentious, and people didn't respect my personal space, and it was just so BIG. I tried going to other places in the area but none of them won my heart in that way. Around the same time, I started getting invited to sex parties, and thought that that was way better than clubbing, at least than the clubbing I was doing then. I love dancing and sex about the same, but sex parties are mostly free of alcohol and tobacco, and I liked that. And I liked that people respected my personal space more. And with a closed guest list, the people were of a much more uniform quality, too... And then eventually I dropped off the PVgoth list. Now I date people who don't even wear black most of the time, and I even own some brown pants. Imagine!
What I had in the scene in my early twenties was a sense of community or family, and a place where I felt safe dancing. Now I have the first in different ways, mostly through identity based communities. I've had a harder time finding good places to dance. I got tired of getting stepped on, getting drinks spilled on me, people trying to grind with me... all that stuff. Right now I like Sweat Your Prayers in Cambridge and occaisional pagan/ambient type events, but I'm not doing it as much as I wish I was. Someone have a party with dancing!
4. Describe for me the best meal you've ever had - the food, the setting, and the people involved.
The best meal I ever had was made for me by my first woman lover, right after my second woman lover broke up with me. Her name was Tanya. She made it in her apartment at Hampshire college. First, we had artichoke leaves with lemon and butter. She stuffed the artichoke hearts and baked them. There was kale - first time I ever had kale. Rice and lentils. Then a big fish main course. I don't remember what kind of fish. But it was the first time someone had ever cooked a gourmet meal for me before, and it was awesome. Also, it was made with love. Then we snuggled up for the night.
5. Do you have any idea how hot you look in a mens' suit?
*smile* Apparently not. Did someone tell you about my Halloween costume?
If you want to be interviewed, post here! If you want to interview me, leave questions in the comments.
