I was going to say that it depends if you are talking about things, like your car, or relationships issues. But then I thought, no, I probably think about them both the same way.
When a problem comes up, you generally need to fix it right then. The car breaks down on the side of the highway, the toilet stops working, your partner starts screaming because that little habit you have has been annoying them for weeks and they never said anything until now.
Generally, the less time you have to fix a problem, the fewer options you have for how you can fix it. And that generally means it will be more expensive to fix.
If your car breaks down on the side of the road at night and on a weekend because it needs an oil change, it will be a lot more expensive than to fix than if you had driven to the Jiffy Lube earlier in the day and prevented the break-down.
Same for relationships. If there is a problem you sense, you can pick when and where you discuss it, so you have more control over the situation. Like making sure you are both well-rested, fed, and in good moods. When an issue comes to a head and there's a big fight, then one or both of you are feeling a lot of negative emotions, you might be tired, hungry, etc. So you may have fewer emotional resources to draw on to fix the problem. Which means it migh escallate into a bigger fight.
What an insightful comment. Thanks for weighing in. :) You're right, it is more expensive to fix something fast and right away than to take care of it in your own time.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2008-08-27 09:19 pm (UTC)When a problem comes up, you generally need to fix it right then. The car breaks down on the side of the highway, the toilet stops working, your partner starts screaming because that little habit you have has been annoying them for weeks and they never said anything until now.
Generally, the less time you have to fix a problem, the fewer options you have for how you can fix it. And that generally means it will be more expensive to fix.
If your car breaks down on the side of the road at night and on a weekend because it needs an oil change, it will be a lot more expensive than to fix than if you had driven to the Jiffy Lube earlier in the day and prevented the break-down.
Same for relationships. If there is a problem you sense, you can pick when and where you discuss it, so you have more control over the situation. Like making sure you are both well-rested, fed, and in good moods. When an issue comes to a head and there's a big fight, then one or both of you are feeling a lot of negative emotions, you might be tired, hungry, etc. So you may have fewer emotional resources to draw on to fix the problem. Which means it migh escallate into a bigger fight.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-27 11:17 pm (UTC)