snugglekitty

How many births have you attended?

Five. All took place in hospitals in the Boston area. I've experienced a pretty wide range of things that can happen with births at this point, and been with different kinds of families. I would love to see a home birth one day. So far, all of my births have been with male/female couples - I would also love to assist with a queer or trans couple one day. I can be certified after attending one more birth.

People tend to be curious about "what it is you actually DO" so I'll describe that too. I support the mom in whatever kind of birth SHE wants to have, even if it's not what I would choose for myself. I go on call for about a month, and while I'm on call I don't go more than an hour away from my home or drink alcohol. I also have to have my birth bag ready at all times. I go to the hospital or birth center once it's clear that the mom will be staying there. I wear comfortable clothes and shoes and I have a change for all of those items in my bag. I talk to the parents about how they're feeling. I suggest position changes. I encourage the mom to take walks. I give the parents time alone to have a "last date." I encourage the dad to touch the mom and help support her in other ways. I use guided meditation. I do reiki. I smile a lot and project soothing energy. I am polite to the medical staff and I answer any questions they have for me. I stay awake. I take short breaks to eat and clear my head. I encourage the parents to kiss. I tell dad he can go get a sandwich or take a nap. I keep a record of everything that happens. I tell the mom she can do it, she's doing great. I stay with the mom while everyone is focusing on the baby. I congratulate the parents and thank the medical staff. I go home and eat a big meal and take a hot bath. I go to bed. Depending on how the birth went, I will be either in a daze of joy for a few days or in a haze of sadness for a few days.

Things that I don't do in labor include doing any clinical procedures (no blood pressure checks for me), making medical decisions, and talking to the medical staff on behalf of the parents. I also don't doula for people I've had romantic relationships with or have romantic relationships with people I've doula'd for - this is not by any means a standard of professionalism in the doula community, but I just think it's too complicated and fraught with peril.