spiritual teachers and sexual power
Jul. 23rd, 2007 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snugglekittyI think by this point you all know that I've been reading some books on women and Buddhism.
I'm returning Turning the Wheel to the library today. I found the introduction really helpful, as I wrote in a previous post, and I also read a significant chapter called "Secrets," which was on the problem of male Buddhist teachers in America having inappropriate sexual relationships with female students. It seems that most texts do not mention anything about this, and it's hushed up in many communities for a variety of reasons.
It seems like there are a few different kinds of dynamics going on (or at least, there were when the book was written). The least objectionable example was of a teacher of Tantric Buddhism who is very open about what he does. A student wrote, "Well, he's going to ask, and you can always say no. Of course, if you say no, he keeps asking, and sends his guards to your room... but really you just have to wonder why women say yes to him, what they're getting out of it." Er. No, not exactly. Not from my perspective, anyway. If a no isn't respected, then a yes loses its power. But he doesn't claim to be celibate or deny that he has these relationships - which makes it easy for people to vote with their feet.
Then there are people who claim to be celibate and have relationships with their students. To me, that is even more deeply not okay.
Perhaps what bothered me most profoundly - okay, two things. One is teachers who use their power to have physical interactions with their students, and then, when called on it, say that it is the student who is making a big deal, it's just a hug/part of the teaching/whatever. How hard is it to say, okay, you're not comfortable, I'll stop, even if you had the best of reasons in the first place? The other is the teachers who when confronted with evidence of affairs with students, say "It was what she needed for her enlightenment" or "It was what she needed to get in touch with her power." I find it really hard to believe that anybody fucks other people for their own good. Especially considering that this is a religion that says that sexual desire is a distraction and attachment is the root of all evil.
Anyway. This has made me think a little bit about things, and my conclusion is that it's not okay for religious leaders to ask for sex from their followers. It's too hard for people to say no to someone who they see as the key to their dreams. Dude, find some other religious leaders to have sex with. Or stick with your partner(s).
I think I've gotten everything I need from this book, at this point, and I'm returning it to the library.
I'm returning Turning the Wheel to the library today. I found the introduction really helpful, as I wrote in a previous post, and I also read a significant chapter called "Secrets," which was on the problem of male Buddhist teachers in America having inappropriate sexual relationships with female students. It seems that most texts do not mention anything about this, and it's hushed up in many communities for a variety of reasons.
It seems like there are a few different kinds of dynamics going on (or at least, there were when the book was written). The least objectionable example was of a teacher of Tantric Buddhism who is very open about what he does. A student wrote, "Well, he's going to ask, and you can always say no. Of course, if you say no, he keeps asking, and sends his guards to your room... but really you just have to wonder why women say yes to him, what they're getting out of it." Er. No, not exactly. Not from my perspective, anyway. If a no isn't respected, then a yes loses its power. But he doesn't claim to be celibate or deny that he has these relationships - which makes it easy for people to vote with their feet.
Then there are people who claim to be celibate and have relationships with their students. To me, that is even more deeply not okay.
Perhaps what bothered me most profoundly - okay, two things. One is teachers who use their power to have physical interactions with their students, and then, when called on it, say that it is the student who is making a big deal, it's just a hug/part of the teaching/whatever. How hard is it to say, okay, you're not comfortable, I'll stop, even if you had the best of reasons in the first place? The other is the teachers who when confronted with evidence of affairs with students, say "It was what she needed for her enlightenment" or "It was what she needed to get in touch with her power." I find it really hard to believe that anybody fucks other people for their own good. Especially considering that this is a religion that says that sexual desire is a distraction and attachment is the root of all evil.
Anyway. This has made me think a little bit about things, and my conclusion is that it's not okay for religious leaders to ask for sex from their followers. It's too hard for people to say no to someone who they see as the key to their dreams. Dude, find some other religious leaders to have sex with. Or stick with your partner(s).
I think I've gotten everything I need from this book, at this point, and I'm returning it to the library.
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Date: 2007-07-23 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-23 07:31 pm (UTC)