it's in the way that you walk

[snugglekitty]

Sometimes, I forgot to walk the way that I want to.

A few years ago, I took a terrific workshop on deconstructing gender with Kate Bornstein. After some writing and discussion of gender roles, we did an excercise where we walked across the room, very slowly, trying to shed all of the gendered characteristics of the way that we moved and held ourselves. When we turned and walked back, we were trying to assume our ideal genders.

Really next excercise. The thing that I noticed immediately was, the way I held myself? It sucked. I held myself like I was scared, like I was trying to protect myself by hunching up my shoulderblades and taking up as little space as possible. Like I was trying not to be noticed.

When I reached the other side of the room, gender shed, I decided to take up a more confident stance. I decided that the gender I wanted to be was Proud Femme. I decided that it wasn't about being flawed or not fitting in, but being who I was, which was sexy and fabulous.

And so, that day, I started to walk in a different way. Long relaxed strides - really stretching out my legs. Swinging my hips with each step. Taking up all the space I need. Holding my head high and letting my shoulders drop back. When I walk like this, the ground moves away quickly, and I look around - really look. I feel relaxed and confident. It's something between a strut and a lope.

Today, it was warm, and I was no longer huddled under my coat, trying to get away from the cold, and I remembered my walk.

Someday I want to not have to remember it. I want it to just be the way I walk, naturally.

Comments

Fantastic Idea

[gurl1776.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing this exercise. Thanks for sharing this idea. (just reading through it made me notice how I was hunched and huddled in my chair instead of sitting upright and breathing deep.) I'm gonna go try out walking right now.