Anonymous Question the First

[snugglekitty]

So, you and starkeymonster. What's your perspective on what happened?

Editor's Note: for those of you who don't know, starkeymonster and I are ex-girlfriends.



Wow, I did not at all see that query coming. :) Rather than answering it directly, I'll answer a related question: Why have I not written anything about that in my journal?

The answer has to do with one of my LJ rules for drama avoidance. I don't write about negative relationship things in my journal. In other words, when it comes to relationships, I only write about the good stuff here. Sure, there's negative stuff - often! - in my relationships. I have arguments, evil processing sessions, breakups, miscommunications, scenes gone terribly wrong. But the Internet is a pretty public place, and I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt. More, I know that my opinions about my relationships are just that, my opinions. They're subjective and very open to interpretation and they often change over time. Plus, we have a tendency to be blinded to the stuff that we've done wrong, and focused on what someone else did that screwed things up, especially when something happened recently - I know I don't see the whole picture of any relationship problem without bias - my emotions are too involved.
This can play out rather ironically, since many/most people ARE willing to write about negative stuff on LJ - I'm not sure people hear my side, a lot of the time. I worry about that sometimes, usually in the middle of a bad breakup, "what will people think if they don't know my side of the story?" but most of the time I feel okay about it. As far as I know, it hasn't bitten me in the ass yet, but it could happen someday.

So, whoever you are, I wouldn't mind answering this question. But I wouldn't do so in this forum. Ask me another way, and I will do my best to give you an honest and thoughtful answer.

Comments

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that the two of you have broken up! Regardless of whether you're the initiator or the broken-up with, break-ups are always painful. I hope things will be better for you soon.

[lady-anemone.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks. The breakup actually happened over six months ago. I believe I am recovering well. I just didn't write about it here, for reasons that I cover above. :)