Alias rules for life
Sep. 13th, 2005 03:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snugglekittyI've been watching Alias recently. It's ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
starkeymonster's fault.
Behind the cut, some rules for life, as learned from Alias.
1) Don't assume someone is dead unless you saw them die. And even then, it may take more than one try.
2) Money and adrenaline are for amateurs. Family ties and revenge motivate the real pros.
3) Consider the least likely possibility as immanently probable.
4) Being injected with green goo is never a good thing.
5) If you are in a battle with someone, remember # 1! Ideally, any worthy opponent should have their head cut off. Then you should maintain custody of the head. If the head disappears, look out!
6) Destroy any mystical or scientific artifacts on sight.
7) If you have someone in your custody, they should not leave your sight. Ditto any artifacts (or severed heads). Supervise any facility transfers personally.
8) When you suspect leaks within your intelligence agency, use an extra to investigate. The CIA has more than four agents for Goddess' sake! If you send someone who knows the target, the target will know them as well.
9) If someone tortures you, it is not enough to overpower them and escape. Kill them! Otherwise, they will torture you again later in the season. And again... and again! And really, no one using proper dental hygiene should have to get dentures.
10) And lastly... Op Techs are god. Love the geeks, and they will love you in return. If you do not love the geeks, they will screw you like there's no tomorrow, and you will never have a working email account again.
The end.
starkeymonster's fault.Behind the cut, some rules for life, as learned from Alias.
1) Don't assume someone is dead unless you saw them die. And even then, it may take more than one try.
2) Money and adrenaline are for amateurs. Family ties and revenge motivate the real pros.
3) Consider the least likely possibility as immanently probable.
4) Being injected with green goo is never a good thing.
5) If you are in a battle with someone, remember # 1! Ideally, any worthy opponent should have their head cut off. Then you should maintain custody of the head. If the head disappears, look out!
6) Destroy any mystical or scientific artifacts on sight.
7) If you have someone in your custody, they should not leave your sight. Ditto any artifacts (or severed heads). Supervise any facility transfers personally.
8) When you suspect leaks within your intelligence agency, use an extra to investigate. The CIA has more than four agents for Goddess' sake! If you send someone who knows the target, the target will know them as well.
9) If someone tortures you, it is not enough to overpower them and escape. Kill them! Otherwise, they will torture you again later in the season. And again... and again! And really, no one using proper dental hygiene should have to get dentures.
10) And lastly... Op Techs are god. Love the geeks, and they will love you in return. If you do not love the geeks, they will screw you like there's no tomorrow, and you will never have a working email account again.
The end.