alternative sexualities, genders, and birth

[snugglekitty]

Okay. I want to support folks with alternative sexualities and genders in their birth experiences. However, I'm not sure I have enough information to know how to do that. (I'm especially concerned about supporting trans people, since I am not a member of that group and therefore am less tied into the community.) There just aren't many resources out there. Anyone want to help? Here's a little survey. Read, answer if applicable, and please do pass it along.



I thought I might conduct a small, informal survey, of those who have
given birth or been involved in a birth in some other way (or who expect
to have children soon), _while identifying with some alternative sexual or gender
identity_. If that sounds like you, I'd love to hear from you. If email
doesn't feel right, we could talk over the phone or in person. If I'm
asking the wrong questions, that would be great to know too - tell me
whatever you want me to know. Feel free to forward this message to any
individuals or lists that you think would be interested.

1) How much do you feel your sexual and/or gender identity affected/will affect your
experience of pregnancy and birth? (A lot, some, a little, not at all?)

2) In what ways did your identity affect your experience? Do you
wish the two had been more, or less, related to each other?

3) Was your birth team, medical staff, etc aware of your identity?
If so, how and why did you tell them? If not, why not? How do you feel
about your decision now?

4) Do you feel your birth team, medical staff, etc supported your
lifestyle (or would have supported it if they had known)? If so, what did
that support look like?

5) If you have multiple partners, how did you involve them in your
pregnancy and birth? Are you happy with the level and type of involvement
they had?

6) One significant difference between altsexers and mainstream community
tends to be who we view as "family." Was your chosen family involved in
your pregnancy and birth? (Not enough? Too much?) Was your biological
family involved? (Not enough? Too much?) Any conflicts between the two?

7) Because of your identity, did you want any special
considerations during birth? (Extra people in the room, time alone with
your top, for people to recognize your same-sex partner as the other
parent, altsex care providers, something else?)

8) What support was helpful to you in your experience as an altsex or unusually gendered person
in a birth situation? Is there any support you wish you had received that
you didn't? This support could be from anyone, not just your primary
caregiver.

9) Is it okay if I share your responses with other doulas and expecting
parents? No identifying information will be used. (If the answer is no,
I still want to hear from you! Otherwise, I will collate the results and
share them with other doulas in the area, and potential clients.)

10) Anything else you think I should know?

Thanks for your help.

Edit: language changed to be more transfriendly, as per the comment from aillecat. Yup, I know it's still not perfect.

Comments

[aillecat.livejournal.com]

I'd steer away from the words "alternative sexuality" "sexuality" and "sexual identity" when it comes to transpeople. Generally its our *gender* identity that plays a role, more than our sexual identity, and they are two different things.

If you feel you also need to ask questions of sexual identity (lesbian/gay/bisexual) of which you *are* part of that community,. do so, but have separate questions about gender identity. genderqueer/transgender/transsexual parents will thank you.

[lady-anemone.livejournal.com]

Okay. That's a good point.

I was using the term "altsex" which is a pretty big umbrella, which I thought trans people would feel okay hanging out under. But, then I thought I should write out the words, since not everyone may be familiar with the abbreviation, and that does give it a different flavor. I will rephrase.

Also, this is not how I would talk to parents - this is just my information-gathering mission. :)