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snugglekittyI was talking to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
7j today about some reading I did online about sex addiction, and she asked if I was going to post about it. I said, "You think people would be interested in that?" and she said, "Definitely." So here I am, posting about it.
I want to say first that I don't identify as a sex addict. I don't feel that I have an unhealthy relationship with sex. I came to this topic through a series of unusual coincidences. I was getting my weekly dose of cuteness from Cute Overload, and saw an ad for "PORN: America's Addiction" with Glenn Beck. I clicked on it, mostly out of curiosity about what the spin was. Again, clicking for the sake of curiosity, I hit the "related link" Sexual Recovery Institute. By this point, and just by reading the captions, I was pretty sure that this was not what you could call unbiased or sex-positive. But it was like a car accident. I was horrified and fascinated, and kept clicking right through to the Women's Sexual Addiction Screening Test.
The test had twenty-five questions. They were quite broad. They were also focused on getting Yeses. There was no place to check "no" or "sometimes", only a box for "Yes." The questions also said have you ever done X, not is X a problem for you or do you do X all the time.
I answered Yes to nine of the twenty-five questions. The test results told me that I had a problem and needed help. Heh heh. My favorite objectionable questions:
Were you sexually abused as a child?
Have you ever stayed in an abusive romantic relationship? (Abuse is a problem, yeah. But it doesn't mean you're addicted to sex.)
Ever feel bad about your sexual behavior? (Who could say no to that question, huh? Who in this whole world has never ever felt bad about something in their sex life? Especially women, who have been taught that good girls don't.)
Do you have multiple romantic relationships?
It gets even more interesting when you compare it with the MSAST - the quiz written for men. That quiz has a whole different set of objectionable questions, including:
Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased porn?
Did your parents have problems in their sexual relationship? (If that's relevant for men, how could it not be relevant for women?)
Do you have trouble sustaining relationships after the sexual newness has worn off? (Since men in general are not taught how to sustain intimate relationships, again, this one is pretty much a gimme for your average guy. Again, not asked of women.)
Have you practiced unsafe sex, knowing it could be bad for your health?
Had sex with someone just because you were turned on and regretted it later? (Once again, I defy you to find me any sexually active adult who can say no to that question. Especially men, who are taught they should want sex all the time.)
So many problems, I hardly know where to begin. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if these particular people are a bunch of looneys, or if, in fact, the whole sex addiction thing is hooey. Tell me, Internet, tell me! Googling brought me to Sex Addicts Anonymous, which had a screening test very different from that of the so-called Sexual Recovery Institute. It asked sane, reasonable questions like, do your sexual practices make you keep secrets from people who are important to you? Does your interest in sex keep you from getting close to people? Do you feel ashamed of your sexuality and your body? That felt more like it was talking about people with problems, rather than people who just don't fit into mainstream norms about how much sex we should have, and what kind, and with who. By their definitions, I am not a sex addict. (And by my own, of course.)
I wrapped up my research with a look at Wikipedia. My favorite Internet encyclopedia tells me that not everyone believes that sex addiction exists, and in fact, it is not a disorder listed in the DMV or recognized by the APA. They also have a whole page on the controversy. (Interested readers, start here.)
Let me make it clear once again that this all happened because of my curiosity. I don't really have an agenda - I'm not saying that there aren't people who have an unhealthy relationship with sex. The trouble, in my opinion, is when it's other people who say you have one, especially when they don't know you and they also have religious or political beliefs that say some consensual adult sexual behavior is not okay. Bit of a conflict of interest, there.
7j today about some reading I did online about sex addiction, and she asked if I was going to post about it. I said, "You think people would be interested in that?" and she said, "Definitely." So here I am, posting about it.I want to say first that I don't identify as a sex addict. I don't feel that I have an unhealthy relationship with sex. I came to this topic through a series of unusual coincidences. I was getting my weekly dose of cuteness from Cute Overload, and saw an ad for "PORN: America's Addiction" with Glenn Beck. I clicked on it, mostly out of curiosity about what the spin was. Again, clicking for the sake of curiosity, I hit the "related link" Sexual Recovery Institute. By this point, and just by reading the captions, I was pretty sure that this was not what you could call unbiased or sex-positive. But it was like a car accident. I was horrified and fascinated, and kept clicking right through to the Women's Sexual Addiction Screening Test.
The test had twenty-five questions. They were quite broad. They were also focused on getting Yeses. There was no place to check "no" or "sometimes", only a box for "Yes." The questions also said have you ever done X, not is X a problem for you or do you do X all the time.
I answered Yes to nine of the twenty-five questions. The test results told me that I had a problem and needed help. Heh heh. My favorite objectionable questions:
Were you sexually abused as a child?
Have you ever stayed in an abusive romantic relationship? (Abuse is a problem, yeah. But it doesn't mean you're addicted to sex.)
Ever feel bad about your sexual behavior? (Who could say no to that question, huh? Who in this whole world has never ever felt bad about something in their sex life? Especially women, who have been taught that good girls don't.)
Do you have multiple romantic relationships?
It gets even more interesting when you compare it with the MSAST - the quiz written for men. That quiz has a whole different set of objectionable questions, including:
Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased porn?
Did your parents have problems in their sexual relationship? (If that's relevant for men, how could it not be relevant for women?)
Do you have trouble sustaining relationships after the sexual newness has worn off? (Since men in general are not taught how to sustain intimate relationships, again, this one is pretty much a gimme for your average guy. Again, not asked of women.)
Have you practiced unsafe sex, knowing it could be bad for your health?
Had sex with someone just because you were turned on and regretted it later? (Once again, I defy you to find me any sexually active adult who can say no to that question. Especially men, who are taught they should want sex all the time.)
So many problems, I hardly know where to begin. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if these particular people are a bunch of looneys, or if, in fact, the whole sex addiction thing is hooey. Tell me, Internet, tell me! Googling brought me to Sex Addicts Anonymous, which had a screening test very different from that of the so-called Sexual Recovery Institute. It asked sane, reasonable questions like, do your sexual practices make you keep secrets from people who are important to you? Does your interest in sex keep you from getting close to people? Do you feel ashamed of your sexuality and your body? That felt more like it was talking about people with problems, rather than people who just don't fit into mainstream norms about how much sex we should have, and what kind, and with who. By their definitions, I am not a sex addict. (And by my own, of course.)
I wrapped up my research with a look at Wikipedia. My favorite Internet encyclopedia tells me that not everyone believes that sex addiction exists, and in fact, it is not a disorder listed in the DMV or recognized by the APA. They also have a whole page on the controversy. (Interested readers, start here.)
Let me make it clear once again that this all happened because of my curiosity. I don't really have an agenda - I'm not saying that there aren't people who have an unhealthy relationship with sex. The trouble, in my opinion, is when it's other people who say you have one, especially when they don't know you and they also have religious or political beliefs that say some consensual adult sexual behavior is not okay. Bit of a conflict of interest, there.