lj and right relationship
Feb. 14th, 2005 12:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snugglekittyAs long as I'm awake, I may as well post what I was thinking about posting about what my drama avoidance policy for eljay looks like.
This mainly pertains to how I handle the intersection of the Internet and my relationships. This is what I have learned through email, mainly, and am now applying to eljay.
A lot of this comes from the common wedding injunction, "Do not tell your quarrels/grievances to strangers." Basically, if I am having an issue with someone, I feel I should talk with them about it, not all of you. (Unless it's originating from something within me, in which case I talk about me, not them.) Posting about it to a faceless interface where I don't really know who's on the other end doesn't feel right to me, even in conjunction with talking to them about it. And it can lead to big hairy drama.
I also have a strong desire to respect the privacy of those I care about, partly because of my desire to have my own privacy respected. So, I don't post anything about relationships I'm having unless I have the permission of the other person to do so.
Additionally, I find that when I'm feeling really happy about a relationship, I want to hug it to myself, not share it with others, except possibly my sweeties. So usually I write about those moments in my paper journal instead.
Not saying anyone else should do things this way, but just writing about how I handle things personally.
This mainly pertains to how I handle the intersection of the Internet and my relationships. This is what I have learned through email, mainly, and am now applying to eljay.
A lot of this comes from the common wedding injunction, "Do not tell your quarrels/grievances to strangers." Basically, if I am having an issue with someone, I feel I should talk with them about it, not all of you. (Unless it's originating from something within me, in which case I talk about me, not them.) Posting about it to a faceless interface where I don't really know who's on the other end doesn't feel right to me, even in conjunction with talking to them about it. And it can lead to big hairy drama.
I also have a strong desire to respect the privacy of those I care about, partly because of my desire to have my own privacy respected. So, I don't post anything about relationships I'm having unless I have the permission of the other person to do so.
Additionally, I find that when I'm feeling really happy about a relationship, I want to hug it to myself, not share it with others, except possibly my sweeties. So usually I write about those moments in my paper journal instead.
Not saying anyone else should do things this way, but just writing about how I handle things personally.